We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There r osticjed everywhere
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
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