Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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