so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
