Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
