I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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