we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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