If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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