No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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