I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
