The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize