I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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