i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
