just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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