I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
