Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
