booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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