She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
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I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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