paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
