just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
