Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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