Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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