So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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