We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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