Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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