weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
