then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm jealous of your bromance
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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