it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so let's talk penis.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
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