sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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