i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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