She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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