And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
