so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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