The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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