And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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