I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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