I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
