he puts the penis in happiness.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize