love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
