3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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