Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
