i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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