Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
