I think my fart just growled at me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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