just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
