So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
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It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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