If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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