Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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