For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
