Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I believe in your delicious
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
