the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize