I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize