So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.