Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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