I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize