I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
