why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she peed on how many people?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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