your thong is hanging out like whoa
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
