Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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